Time to let go

You know much a person cares by the effort they take to initiate contact

You obviously don't mean very much if everyone else comes first

And when you leave, they make no move to hold on to you

Guess it's time to let go for good

Dirty Little Secret

Found this bit in my archive, dated late 2012. It was something I always felt, something I always wanted to tell her, but had to hold in. So many frustrating times, so many hurtful ones. And yet, I held on. Oh well, a bit too late but here it is now.


Sometimes it feels like a dirty little secret, safely tucked away at the back of a huge closet. Ashamed of being found, ashamed of even the thought of being thought of. It is only behind closed doors that this secret is carefully taken out of its dark corner, the pain and pleasure slowly savoured as it completely consumes you in a desperate bid to remind you that it is all very real. That it is a part of you. That it is here to stay. No matter how many times you try to shove it back into that dark, tiny space, it still remains. It nags from the back of your mind, screams its presence from that special place in your heart, and from your eyes, that familiar prickle that signals the onset of a torrential flood of tears.

You become emotional, unstable, a ghost of what you used to be. So fearful, so full of suspicion.When someone attempts to even go near that, you jump right up and shove them back. Paranoia sets in. Every look sent your way sets you thinking of ways to push that secret even deeper in hiding.

How much more can it be pushed before it decides it has had enough?

How much longer can we live that way?

Happy Valentines Day!

Happy Valentines!! 

Did you guys have a good one? I spent mine with my dear one over the internet! Technology is a wonderful thing when we are so far away.

I miss you! :-* xxxx

Reminder to self

Everyday is a new day

Don't dwell on yesterday's failures

Keep on moving forward!

...Even if you have to crawl...

Most of all,

Don't let anything anyone says get you down!
Even if it's your boss!!

A New Chapter

A new job, doing something totally different, in a new place. I'm both excited and scared at the same time! And a bit reluctant to leave home. I'm not talking about the 'place I grew up' kind of home but the 'home is where the heart lies' kind of home. And my heart lies with one absolutely amazing girl.

Restlessness

It's been too long. Can't stand all this staying at home and not accomplishing anything feeling. I need to get back on my feet and start doing something useful. God, please help me!

New Blogshop: i Heart Cotton.Candy

Hey guys! I've just launched a clothes blogshop HERE. Each design is handpicked to cater to the fashion savvy. Of course we'd want you to look good! ;) Do check it out and support us! ^^

iHeart Cotton.Candy

The theme of our first collection are floral printed dresses and blazers. I personally am a fan of those cotton blazers. Throw them over a tank top for that casual chic look, over a nice shirt for a smart butch look or even over a dress for a semi-formal look or just plain attitude!

Casual chic

 

One of our many floral prints

Check us out on facebook too and remember to click the LIKE button! ;)
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/I-Heart-CottonCandy/181705695199516
Blogshop: http://iheartcottoncandy.blogspot.com/

Fun with the new Facebook profile layout

My first thought when I first saw the recent profile changes on Facebook was that there's less privacy as all details would be listed right on top of the page, just below the user's name. No way was anyone going to convince me to voluntarily switch to it!

But I've gotta eat my words now thanks to this article on Gizmodo.

Alexandre Oudin's

All I can say is brilliant. The artist, Alexandre Oudin, has deffo inspired me to attempt his ingenious idea :)

Excerpt from Gizmodo:

"For anyone who wants to copy his style, all you have to do is block the other photos you're tagged in and upload photos to your profile pictures album that are the exact size (yes, down to the pixel) of the display on Facebook and voilà!"

 Mine!

I had a bit of trouble understanding the tip at first and so decided to tinker around a bit. This was the final way I used:

First off is to block tagged photos and to make a screenshot of your Facebook profile. Adjust the screenshot opacity so that it's semi-transparent. Insert a photo, align it into the photo areas and crop the areas you'd like to use. It helps if you have a photo editing software such as Photoshop. Once you get this sorted out, upload them into your profile photo album and start tagging! Remember to tag the photo that is supposed to appear at the end of the photostream first.


Or if trying to align all the photos is too much of a pain, even this looks pretty cool :)

My first attempt

What do you think?

Brown Eyed Girls - Abracadabra

Saw these videos 'bout a month ago and am still addicted to to them! Ga-in is just too hot! :D

Summer Updates

Hi all! Disappeared for quite a bit huh? First off, I'm back in Msia!! :) Have been in KL for the past few days and will be heading back to the beloved island on the 28th. Thanks WK and XM for having me! :)

Prior to this I had travelled a bit to a couple of places in south England. Cornwall, Winchester, Cheddar, Burley and Canterbury to name a few. For those who know me personally, pictures are on facebook! For the rest of you, here are a few for your viewing pleasure!

Falmouth, Cornwall

Seafood at Truro, Cornwall

St.Ives, Cornwall after the rain

Yummy scones!

Land's End, Cornwall

Cathedral in Winchester

London

It's a regret of mine to have not toured certain parts of Europe before coming back. The land of legalized weed, Amsterdam, especially. Places like Barcelona, Brussels, Greece, Malta and Turkey that were also on top of my to-go list were also given the miss. Oh well, I'm glad to have at least visited Berlin. Deffo one of best cities ever! I'd go back anyday! :)

Till next time! Adiós!

Summer Adventures: Liverpool

Woo~ Came back from Liverpool a few weeks ago and it sure was awesome! Thanks Mel, for sheltering, feeding and walking this dog! :)

It was about 5pm by the time I reached Liverpool so Mel and I just hung out at the park-like area above the mall, Liverpool One before having dinner in a nice Italian restaurant called Pesto. What we didn't know was that Pesto specializes in tapas (snack portions) resulting in us ordering a dish each. It was only when our orders came that we understood and so opted for another dish plus a dessert. Recommended for its good food, warm ambience, and friendly staff.

Yummy food @ Pesto

Drinks @ Fly in the Loaf

We were blessed with good sunshiney weather on the second day and went about checking out the sights. As usual, I'll let the pictures do most of the talking.

The Anglican Cathedral

The famed lamb banana (Though why it's a symbol totally eludes me)

Just as we were approaching Albert Dock

The yellow duck - On land

Floating happily without a care in the world

Albert Dock

More of Albert Dock

Echo Arena - Location of the MTV Awards

From one of the bridges overlooking the Echo Arena

Italian food @ Gusto, Albert Dock

The next day was spent shopping and lounging in the sun at Liverpool One. No pictures cause I'm too lazy to mosaic out our faces lol. But it was fun, and I love the sun! :) Anyway, a few more pictures from our late night outing and I'm signing off.

Notice the faint car light effects? Lol.

The really nice stairway leading to L1 park

Atop L1

Freedom!

I'M FREEEEEE~!! Exams are finally over!! Hahah. There's so many things I could do, where do I start?

On one hand, there are the non-productive activities such as going on drama marathons and lazing about in my room, and on the other hand, there's the more productive activities such as brushing up on my writing, and giving those creative muscles a chance to flex. Then there's my mess of a room to clean, laundry to do, and a CV to perfect before the jobhunt starts. Hmm.... I guess the decision will have to wait till tomorrow?

Until then, my bed and movie filled laptop calls.


Signing off with a bit of gay news from the animal kingdom that I saw on Yahoo! this morning:

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20090603/tod-gay-penguins-hatch-rejected-egg-86d1698.html

Proves further that sexual preferance is not a choice, it's just a natural occurance that we have no say on, and that being gay doesnt affect us being good parents. So, why do many still discriminate against gays and oppose gay marriage? Chew on that.

Ta all~

Halfway through!

2 papers down, 2 more to go! And an assignment which I've yet to start. Lol. Well, at least I can now get rid of these!

No, I didn't read them all (the horrors!)

Hang in there, you can do this, scoob! PERSEVERE!! Only a couple of weeks to go and that's it.

The end.

So please, please dear self, please do not screw anything up!! You know very well the next two are trained killers, so please buck up! Don't wanna be shot dead do ya? Ain't gonna be a pretty sight. So stop lazing about and only feeling the heat as the next paper draws closer and closer. Start working now!

On another note, it's been getting dark later and later. Below is a photo taken at 9pm two weeks ago. 9pm this week looks like 7pm in M'sia.

9pm, Sunderland

Hmm... I wonder what time the sun will set today...

Differential Agar Plates

Remember the colourful differential agar I mentioned in an earlier post? Wondered how they look like? Here are some pictures! :)

my work bench

Circle of colours

They have got really cute names too - Rose Bengal, Bromo Purple, Brilliant Green, Nile Blue, Basic Fuscin, Acid Fuscin, Crystal violet, and of course the normal one, YEPD Base. Of these, Bromo purple is the most fascinating as growth affects its colour.

My ultimate fav

Makes spending time in the lab more bearable don't you think? ;)

Doggone it

1st edit, 30th April
2nd edit, 8th May
3rd edit, 15th May
4th edit, 30th May

29th April or 1st May: Pushed forward to next week
Poster presentation on my final year project. (Also means that the report has to be more or less finished by then)

30th April:
Due date for the Industrial Microbiology assignment and the Molecular Biology II critical paper review. DONE

11th May:
Final year exam starts. 1st paper

7th May: Pushed forward to 14th May
Due date for my final year project report.

15th May: Pushed forward to 29th May
Due date for Bioinformatics assignment (This was released to us just yesterday! Imagine that! -cries-)

20th May:
2nd exam paper

27th May:
3rd paper

4th June:
4th paper (also known as the killer paper)


So, tell me. Am I dead or am I DEAD?? :(

Gonna disappear for a bit. Will be back after everything's over. If I survive of course. *Sigh* Someone just kill me?

The Veronicas - Take me on the floor

....is my current favourite song thanks to a certain someone who played it in the wee hours of the morning ;) As a matter of fact, I fell in love with the whole album. Check out this video of Take me on the floor!



Lyrics in case you wanna sing along to it ;)

The lights are out and I barely know you
We're going up and the place is slowing down
I knew you'd come around

You captivate me, something about you has got me
I was lonely now you make me feel alive
Will you be mine tonight?

Take me on the floor (dadada da dadadada)
I can't take it any more (dadada da dadadada)
I want you, I want you, I want you to show me love
Just take me on the floor (dadada da dadadada)
I can give you more (dadada da dadadada)
You kill me, you kill me, you kill me with your touch

My heart is racing as you're moving closer
You take me higher with every breath I take
Would it be wrong to stay?

One look at you and I know what you're thinking
Time's a bitch and my heart is sinking down
You turn me inside out

Take me on the floor (dadada da dadadada)
I can't take it any more (dadada da dadadada)
I want you, I want you, I want you to show me love
Just take me on the floor (dadada da dadadada)
I can give you more (dadada da dadadada)
You kill me, you kill me, you kill me with your touch

I wanna kiss a girl
I wanna kiss a girl
I wanna kiss a boy
I wanna ...

I wanna kiss a girl (do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya)
I wanna kiss a girl (do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya)
I wanna kiss a boy (do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya)
I wanna kiss a (kiss a, kiss a, kiss a)

dadada da dadadada
dadada da dadadada
dadada da dadadada (oh)

Take me on the floor (dadada da dadadada)
I can't take it any more (dadada da dadadada)
I want you, I want you, I want you to show me love
Just take me on the floor (dadada da dadadada)
I can give you more (dadada da dadadada)
You kill me, you kill me, you kill me with your touch

Take me on the floor (dadada da dadadada)
I can't take it any more (dadada da dadadada)
I want you, I want you, I want you to show me love
Just take me on the floor (dadada da dadadada)
I can give you more (dadada da dadadada)
You kill me, you kill me, you kill me
Please don't stop!

Spare some time for a prayer, thankyou

First it was my grandmother. Now 4 months later, after spending two weeks in and out of the ICU, it's my grandfather's turn. Two grandparents in the space of less than half a year. *Sigh*

And why is it that things have to happen while I'm away? Everyone just keeps keeping things from you because they don't want you to worry. He actually passed away on Wed but it was only today that they finally told me. It's such a bad feeling to be unable to be there during their last moments, to pay my last respects. The funeral is due to start later today according to M'sian time and I only wish I could be there... Guess I can only support in prayer. He hasn't accepted Christ as his saviour so it'll be much appreciated if each of you helps pray for his salvation.

Dear God, please let his suffering end with death. Save his soul, redeem him o' Lord. Let him know peace. Hear our prayers Lord. We surrender him into your hands. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Our God is a loving God, a patient God and merciful God.

Ask and you shall receive,
Seek and you will find,
Knock and the door shall be opened.

It's gonna be a mad, mad week

This is just a way of scaring motivating myself to get things done. Status will be updated each time I complete something. I only hope that I can survive...

Start time: 8pm
1st EDIT: 1st April, 12.30pm

Industrial Microbiology
To do: Lab report -Intro, Results, Interpretation, Discussion, Referencing

Status: Not done
Due: Thurs, 2nd April

Molecular Biology 2
To do: Lab Design - Intro, Equipment, Materials, Discussion
Status: Not done
Due: Thurs, 2nd April

End time: ______

Final Season of The L Word - Season 6

Okay, so who thought the finale sucked? Or the most of the season for that matter?

The whole thing just felt a bit rushed. There wasn't enough build-up, wasn't enough tension. Not to mention, too many loose ends! I thought the parade thingy at the end was plain weird. With everyone smirking like that, it'd seem as if they had all plotted to kill Jenny together. That is till Jenny appears, smirking right along with them.


Being a Jenny fan, I've always found her rather amusing and that her crazy side somehow adds to her charm. The way the producers spent the whole season turning Jenny into this malicious, destructive bitch that goes about destroying all her friends' lives was really sad. Perhaps the intention was to give every character a motive so that we'd be left guessing at the end? I do believe they could done it another way though. A way that doesn't require completely destroying a character to the extend where everyone is glad to be rid of her. And that no one would mourn her death. A tragic end to her already tragic life.

You will be missed Jenny Schecter.

And oh, did I mention? I ♥ Lucy Lawless!


The L Word Online has full episodes of Season 6 but if you've missed the last few seasons, watch it here! :)

Sunshine at last!

Like the title says, sunshine at last! And in more ways than one.

After so many months of fruitless labour, on Friday the 13th, a supposedly unlucky day, DNA bands showed up on my gel! Words cannot describe how happy I was. I started off this project in November, a month later compared to my other classmates due to some communication problems between my supervisor-to-be and my course co-ordinator and it's been quite a rocky road since. So far, the DNA extraction method has been changed 4 times, primers switched once, the number and type of strains of the microbe I'm working with as well as the concentrations of primers/MgCl2/DNA adjusted and tested countless times, and about 4 different PCR run times tried out. Over time, my project has evolved to include more methods of obtaining data. For example, using the colourful differential culture medium that are so unique and fascinating that they induce production of endorphins :) Ok, that sounded quite 'sua pa'... But don't mind me, colourful things tend to attract my attention.

While a part of me groans ''Oh no, more work!'', another part is extremely glad to be given the opportunity to try new things. And surprisingly, I find myself wanting to do well. Most of you know that I never did like Biotech and that I'm not the least bit bothered about acheiving anything. That I just want to do reasonably okay, get a job, earn some capital and set off on my quest to do English instead. I never had the passion for science. No wait, scratch that. I did when I was in high school, but that disappeared. Especially after I took up a job in a laboratory. It was then that I decided that the life of a scientist wasn't for me.

But somehow, somewhere amongst my tangle of interests and suppressed desires (sounds damn wrong lol), perhaps lies a scientist raring to go? I don't know. I just don't know anymore. Guess the best bet is to sink back to my usual take-it-as-it-comes routine. Seems to have worked fine so far. After all, no plans = no pressure. The only downside is that no plans = no motivation too! And no motivation = laziness = likely failure. And being a failure is not something I'm inclined to be!

Hmm, that didn't sound very sunshiney did it? Sorry, got carried away. Anyway, it's been rather sunny up here for the past week! Sure, it's still cold and the winds could probably blow me away if I attempted to open an umbrella but heck, at least there's sunshine! On mornings when I wake up earlier than usual, after drawing the curtains, I'd just stand there, soaking up the sight of the sun rays reflecting off the windows, the clear blue sky, and breathing in the cool crisp air. I love how it just brightens up my day, how it makes me feel happier, more energetic, more full of life! And oh, the dogg is no longer treading on thin ice! Cause the sun melted it all away!! Lol. Ok, enough crap. It's way late so i'm off to bed. Nights all! And selamat pagi South East Asians! ;)