Tuesday, January 02, 2007

creative spark during depression

Living life in the closet
It’s all a lie
Everything I do and say
Screening every damn move I make
Why can’t anyone see thru me?

To feel the pain I go thru
Every second of my waking hour
Struggling to come to terms with myself
Trying to love myself for who I am
Only to be laughed at
Right in the face

All my pain and suffering
It’s all taken lightly
They think their words don’t hurt
They think it’s all just for fun
But what they don’t know is
Every insult strikes a chord
Why can’t anyone understand?

Why won’t anyone accept the way I am?
What’s wrong with being different?
I am who I am
Stop trying to change me!
So face the fact or fuck off!

How can I hold my head high
And proclaim that I’m proud of who I am
When inside, all I feel is shame and fear?
Fear of being ridiculed
Of not being accepted

If only they’d understand…

Always loving someone that’s always out of reach
That left-out feeling seeing other lovers in their own world
The loneliness that creeps in during the darkest hours
And the jealousy seeing the one I love
The one I never can have,
In the arms of another
It’s all enough to drive a person insane

It’s always someone out of reach
Will I never find my someone?

Somewhere, deep inside,
My heart is bleeding
I need someone to make it stop
Someone who understands
Won’t someone please understand?

I’m tired of it all
There’s nothing left anymore
The spark to live is gone
All I can do now is to just pretend
Pretend that’s everything’s alright
That it’s just PMS (yeah right)
That everything gonna be okay

Everything’s gonna be okay…

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