You know much a person cares by the effort they take to initiate contact
You obviously don't mean very much if everyone else comes first
And when you leave, they make no move to hold on to you
Guess it's time to let go for good
Saturday, February 08, 2014
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Dirty Little Secret
Found this bit in my archive, dated late 2012. It was something I always felt, something I always wanted to tell her, but had to hold in. So many frustrating times, so many hurtful ones. And yet, I held on. Oh well, a bit too late but here it is now.
Sometimes it feels like a dirty little secret, safely tucked away at the back of a huge closet. Ashamed of being found, ashamed of even the thought of being thought of. It is only behind closed doors that this secret is carefully taken out of its dark corner, the pain and pleasure slowly savoured as it completely consumes you in a desperate bid to remind you that it is all very real. That it is a part of you. That it is here to stay. No matter how many times you try to shove it back into that dark, tiny space, it still remains. It nags from the back of your mind, screams its presence from that special place in your heart, and from your eyes, that familiar prickle that signals the onset of a torrential flood of tears.
You become emotional, unstable, a ghost of what you used to be. So fearful, so full of suspicion.When someone attempts to even go near that, you jump right up and shove them back. Paranoia sets in. Every look sent your way sets you thinking of ways to push that secret even deeper in hiding.
How much more can it be pushed before it decides it has had enough?
How much longer can we live that way?
Sometimes it feels like a dirty little secret, safely tucked away at the back of a huge closet. Ashamed of being found, ashamed of even the thought of being thought of. It is only behind closed doors that this secret is carefully taken out of its dark corner, the pain and pleasure slowly savoured as it completely consumes you in a desperate bid to remind you that it is all very real. That it is a part of you. That it is here to stay. No matter how many times you try to shove it back into that dark, tiny space, it still remains. It nags from the back of your mind, screams its presence from that special place in your heart, and from your eyes, that familiar prickle that signals the onset of a torrential flood of tears.
You become emotional, unstable, a ghost of what you used to be. So fearful, so full of suspicion.When someone attempts to even go near that, you jump right up and shove them back. Paranoia sets in. Every look sent your way sets you thinking of ways to push that secret even deeper in hiding.
How much more can it be pushed before it decides it has had enough?
How much longer can we live that way?
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Happy Valentines Day!
Happy Valentines!!
Did you guys have a good one? I spent mine with my dear one over the internet! Technology is a wonderful thing when we are so far away.
I miss you! :-* xxxx
Did you guys have a good one? I spent mine with my dear one over the internet! Technology is a wonderful thing when we are so far away.
I miss you! :-* xxxx
Thursday, August 04, 2011
Reminder to self
Everyday is a new day
Don't dwell on yesterday's failures
Keep on moving forward!
...Even if you have to crawl...
Most of all,
Don't let anything anyone says get you down!
Even if it's your boss!!
Even if it's your boss!!
Friday, May 20, 2011
A New Chapter
A new job, doing something totally different, in a new place. I'm both excited and scared at the same time! And a bit reluctant to leave home. I'm not talking about the 'place I grew up' kind of home but the 'home is where the heart lies' kind of home. And my heart lies with one absolutely amazing girl.
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